1) The public's appetite for freakishly large families, and for midgets, is insatiable.
2 ) Insecure, self-loathing vampires are awesome. Werewolves are all really nice guys too, but alas, they never get the girl.
3) Vancouverites are NEVER happy.
“It's snowing! It's cold! I hate it! Waaaaaaah!”
“It's raining! It's wet! I hate it! Waaaaaaah!”
“It's sunny! It's hot! I hate it! Waaaaaaah!"
Poor babies.
4) American politics are really really annoying. Medical care = red socialist menace. Stay-in-school programs = red socialist menace. My ham and cheese sandwich = red socialist menace. I can't even get angry anymore - just bored out of my mind.
5) Vancouver is one of the most expensive places to live in North America. We have some of the highest liquor prices in the North America, and if you travel 2 Zones on a daily basis, you're paying more for your transit than they do in New York City! Well, at least we have many exciting entertainment options, such as hiking, walking, strolling, meandering, moseying, striding, perambulating, parading...See, lots of things!
6) Exercise makes you fat. Yes. According to the latest scientific study (as seen on CNN), going to the gym will make you so hungry that you won't be able to resist heading to the nearest McDonald's for 10 Big Macs. So, stop exercising and let those pounds just melt away as you lie on your couch watching reality shows about midgets!
7) South America is awesome. Forget about the horror stories that may have happened to a friend of a friend of a friend. Just go there.
Anyways, any other thoughts about 2009?
Coming soon, New Year's Resolutions!
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