The best thing that EVER happened to me?

I just read a fascinating article by Judy Segal, called “Cancer isn't the best thing that ever happened to me.”

http://www.vancouversun.com/health/Cancer+best+thing+that+ever+happened/2752354/story.html

For those of you who aren't going to click the link, here's what it's all about. Basically, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she found that there was only one way that she could talk about her experience, only one possible script to follow: “I found a lump; I was scared; I stayed positive and I fought; I recovered; now I am a better person; in some ways, cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

If she deviated from this scripted narrative, by hinting that she was scared or angry rather than enlightened, family, friends, and society didn't know what to do with her. She says it best: “If, as a person with cancer, you violate the code of optimism, or if cancer somehow failed to improve you, you'd better be quiet.”

*******DISCLAIMER*********

I am now about to make a possibly inappropriate transition into whining about my personal life. Please note that I don't intend to belittle cancer – dear family members have had it, and at work, I see amazing, brave kids face things every day that I've never imagined. If you are offended by inappropriate segues, please stop reading now. Thank you.

So anyways, as you know, I recently experienced a breakup. When I tried to talk about my feelings with an old friend, he threw a fit and decided he never wanted to speak to me again. I had no idea why, until I read that article. I realized: he threw the fit because I wasn't following the Socially Acceptable Breakup Narrative. You know the one:

The day of the breakup:

I eat ice cream in my pajamas while watching Sex and the City. My girlfriends come over to comfort me, we give each other makeovers, and possibly a pillow fight breaks out.

The next day:

I vow to put it all behind me. Aren't I glad that I'm not with that horrible person anymore, who constantly made me miserable? I just want to forget all about him! Now I can finally be ME!

The next week:

This is actually the best thing that ever happened to me because now I'm so much stronger! What a wonderful opportunity!

But that day, talking to my friend, I mentioned that I still value the great times my ex and I had together, and that I think being single actually kinda blows. In other words, I went waaaay off the script. And he had no idea how to react. Hence the hissy fit and ensuing silent treatment.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: some things just plain suck. And you shouldn't have to be shunned by society for saying so.

I will leave you with the words of Michael Scott :

“You know when people say, getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them?

I feel sorry for those people.

That's? The best thing? Really? Yugh!”

I wish I owned this place so I could actually go through with it...

Dear Robin (sic),

I appreciate that you are such a quiet neighbour. However, I would like you to know that I was awakened at 3 a.m. last night because of some noise (which I believe originated from your apartment).

Regards,

Weirdo.

Dear Weirdo,

I appreciate that you usually have a life. However, I would like you to know that you did not have one at 3 am last night. You also did not have one this morning, when you took time to compose and type an overly formal letter to me. I trust that you will take measures to remedy this situation, and regain said life in order to preserve the quiet, peaceful character of this building.

I would also like to draw your attention to the severe winds that were in effect April 2-3, 2010, which caused a severe rattling of windows and blowing about of garbage cans, and were likely the source of said noise. Although I am 25 years younger than you, unfortunately I did not cause this phenomenon just to annoy you, and thus cannot accept the blame.

Regards,

Robyn.